The Quilt Skipper

quilting makes me skip for joy

Jenny K Lyon

Quilting makes me skip for joy

Failure actually is an option

Note: I have 2 posts today because they are about two very different subjects.

I am not ending 2019 on a high note. Hubby and I chose to surrender our sweet Zoe the Greyhound back to the Greyhound Adoption Center, after a brief stay in our home. Here’s how we arrived at that gut-wrenching decision:

Zoe is a 2 yr 4 mo old Greyhound. She has an unusual history. But first, some basic Greyhound background. Pretty much every non-racing Greyhound you see has been retired from racing. Last year there were something like 4 non-racing Greyhound litters in the entire US, perhaps accidental litters.

A racing greyhound usually begins to race at around 18 mos, racing twice a week until they are retired at 3 or 4. They live at the track and are crated most of the day. They truly are couch potatos except when they’re racing, so this is not as burdensome as it might seem. Some say racing is entirely not entirely bad for them as they do live to run…or sleep. In the US there is a robust and cooperative system between owners and rescue to bring retired racers into a home.

Zoe retired very early, after only 4 races, 3 of which she won and the fourth she came in last. There was probably a good reason why she was retired but we don’t know what happened. We knew retired racers have lived a very circumscribed life and that it would take time and patience to acclimate Zoe to our home. We were prepared for that. A retired racer has not seen steps before, has only experienced sand or concrete and, the wide open spaces of a home would be intimidating to her.

This is what Greys do – it’s called “roaching”.

It was clear from the get-go that Zoe was a sweet girl, gentle in nature and a quick learner.

But she was not happy in our home. She was miserable. Only in retrospect were we able to figure this out – she missed her friends! She wanted us in the same room, no one could leave or she would howl. It was almost like a scream though, like the sound your dog makes when you shut their tail in the door. This was not a gentle or quiet sound. And it was not brief.

We could not leave her for one second, no way. If one of us left to go run errands or whatever, she would yelp. She was clearly so unhappy. It was very much like having a newborn – you could not turn your back for one second. Maybe another good analogy was that she was like a baby with colic, miserable yet no one could omfort her. Yet when Greyhound friends came for a visit, she was happy!

They have no body fat. See how her legs are transluscent in places?

We sought the help of a trainer recommended by the Greyhound people. She suggested 3 things: interrupt her behavior, give her peanut butter to occupy her or create an unusual sound to interrupt her. None of that did anything at all. She had zero interest in Kongs or any other toy when she was agitated. Then it was suggested to use doggie CBD. Did that, very expensive stuff, but it did nothing. At one point the trainer suggested a visit to the vet to inquire about doggie Prozac.

Doesn’t she look dapper with her coat and turtleneck?

That just did not feel right to us and it was a turning point: if we have to double medicate her just to get her to tolerate our home, then something was not right. We were not right for her.

I have a philosophy about dogs and how to choose and treat them:

  1. Honor the breed. Make sure the breed makes sense for your lifestyle. No herders around small children, no long-hair if you’re a neat freak, no hunters if you’re not going to walk them.
  2. Honor the dog. Your dog has a personality, honor it. If you want a Velcro dog, don’t expect them to be independant. If your dog is high-energy, you must exercize that dog every day no matter how you feel.
  3. Train the dog to fit into your home and expectations. Little things like will they sleep with us, be on the furniture, be given people food, etc.
She really liked this deep, fluffy bed.

For us, the problem was #2, honor the dog. We fell head-over-heels in love with the breed! But she was used to being around other hounds all. the. time. She enjoyed our cushy home, but more than anything she wanted to hang with her friends. We just could not do that. We were not game for 2 dogs and besides, you need to get one adjusted and confident before you bring in another.

Hubs saying goodbye.

It just was not going to work. I shed many tears. It hurt to see this beautiful creature be miserable, and we were unable to do anything that brought her comfort.  We discussed all kinds of scenarios but at the end of the day, she was miserable. For the time being she is with a wonderful adoption person’s home, frolicking with other Greys, a Whippet and llamas. She has a zillion toys and lots of action. I will keep up with her but at this point, the plan is to return her to the Adoption Center where a better home with another hound will be found for her.

Son saying goodbye.

So, failure is an option. We tried. It did not work. It was a failure and it hurts my heart that she was so miserable here. As far as failure goes, failure is a part of life. Failure is okay. Failure means I tried. I loved the breed – Greyhounds are amazing creatures and I’d love to have one. But right now we are done. After Zeke’s horrific and early departure followed by this, we just can’t do it again.

This sunny spot should have a dog in it. We’ve had 2 dogs enjoy this sunny winter spot. Will there be another? Right now we are done. But stay tuned.

Onward.

Comments

  1. Aw Jenny, my heart hurts for you. You did everything right, but still. Zoe does deserve to be with dog company again. I am staying tuned for you.

  2. We have been greyhound parents in the past. We spent 5 hours training for an adoption and let a dog adopt us. Our sweet boy was right at home after learning stairs, glass doors and what not to jump on. He died from a brain infection last year. Best pet we ever had. That said we’ve had other rescues that went straight back after a week of nonstop barking (a schnauzer on his third tryout home) and a jack Russell who we kept for 3 years (still didn’t stop biting himself when bored—he went to a farm and settled right in) Good choice to listen to your pet to try elsewhere ?? Keep on quilt in’!

    • Wow you had some tough pets with a Jack and a Schnauzer! Greys are so easy. I’m sorry to hear you lost yours. I have no doubt Zoe is going to be fabulously happy with other greys. Thank you for your note Brenda.

  3. My heart is aching for you – I know how excited you were about getting her. This is a heartbreaking story – I am so proud of you.

  4. Holy Cow! There is non greater heartbreak than saying goodbye to a dog that does not adjust or is very ill. We needed to do that a couple of years ago, but we decided for us in our mid 70’s, it was time to just concentrate on us..i truly feel for you..❤️

    • I’m just a decade behind you Susan and I feel like we’re on the cusp. If we got a young dog and they lived a good life, we would be 80 or close to it. Not sure what we will do here. I appreciate your note Susan.

  5. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out with Zoe. For a time you loved her and she loved you and that is precious.

  6. I am so very sorry for all of you. Pup loved you both I’m sure, but didn’t understand that your home was not its kennel! Greys are very special, but they are ‘special’.

    Thank you for sharing your love.

    Have yourselves a peaceful and healthy new year.

    Loretta

  8. Don’t give up, give yourself time to heal the heartbreak. A fur baby will find YOU and be part of your family. Dogs make the home complete and full of love ????

    • At the moment I’m torn – I want to fill that spot and part of me thinks that being untethered would be a good thing.

  10. Oh my. I applaud your choice and knowing that. I’m sorry too. We are still pet-less anxious to commit, doing what is right. It’s a tough decision either way. My heart goes out to you both . Happy New Year.

  11. Ah, how sweet and a sad ending but you loved Zoe while she was with you and she will be happy in a home with another dog for company. Sorry it didn’t work.

  12. Bless you, Jenny and husband, for putting this beautiful creature’s happiness ahead of your desire to own a greyhound. There is a lonesome pup somewhere who would love to come and live with you. You will find it (or it find you) when the time is right.

  13. Thinking of you and your family Jenny! Your post is just so honest. I respect and admire you for making this tough decision.

  14. Oh, Jenny. I feel for you but it sounds like you really did the best for this dog and she is so much more likely to be placed in the right forever home now that the rescue organization knows that she should be placed in a home with other animals.

    We had a horrible week before Christmas with my dog Otto. Found out on Tuesday that his limping was not due to a minor injury as we’d thought, but advanced, aggressive, and very painful osteosarcoma tumor growing from inside his front leg bone. He went downhill so fast that it was like watching a healthy, happy, playful dog just drop off a cliff — had to put him down only 3 days after receiving the diagnosis because he was suffering so badly and there was nothing we could do for him but let him go. You let your greyhound go rather than continue her suffering in the wrong environment, so she could have a better future, but I feel the grief in your post. You did NOT fail her; pet ownership involves difficult decisions where the right choice for the dog can be very painful to the owners. Like you, I am walking through my home these days and seeing shadows of the dog who used to snuggle up next to those drapery panels or in that particular patch of sunshine, or the forlorn, chewed-up tennis ball lying in the middle of my yard that no one will chase anymore… Sending you and your husband love, peace with your decision, and hope that someday when you’re ready, the right dog will come into your lives again.

    • Oh I am so sorry to hear about Otto! That sounds so hard and so sudden. Sending you and your family love and peace also. This stuff is just so hard!

    • We lost our little Otto dog to bladder cancer last February. I still think I hear his little feet clicking on the floor as I work in the kitchen. I don’t understand why dogs sit so close to our hearts, but it sure is a fact. Time helps but my 8 year old granddaughter still comes up to me and says “I miss Otto.” Me too.

  16. Oh Jenny, I’m so sorry, but you DID do the right thing. Not all greyhounds are like this…one of the quilters here has had several. But she and her husband are home pretty close to 24/7 (at least one of them is), and they are not active like you are. In your shoes, I too would take an extended break from dog-ing. Permanent? Not sure. So glad you have left the option open for someday-maybe. HUGS to you both.

    • Now that sounds like the perfect greyhound home! Really though, lots of greys thrive in homes like ours, just not ZOe. Not sure what we’ll do in the long run.

  17. So sad, but I do understand.l Hugs. Zoe will find a happier place for her, I believe, so in reality, the best for her is what you want. Hugs.

  18. So sorry to hear this, Jenny! You’ve done the best possible thing for Zoe, though, in allowing her to be around other dogs — something she obviously needs. I hope one day you’ll be able to have another dog, though.

  19. I’m so sorry things didn’t work out. Having had rescue dogs in the past, I understand. They come with unique and unpredictable challenges. As heartbreaking as it must be, it sounds like you did the right thing. Big hugs to you.

  20. What a difficult decision, but you did the right thing. I know it hurts, and I bet there will be a new doggy in that sun in the future.

    We had a similar experience, but with a rescue cat. He wanted to be with us all the time. He hated the other cat who loves everyone, and we feared he would hurt her when we weren’t around. After months of working with him, we gave him back and recommended he be put in a home with no other animals, and someone who could be around him all of the time. It was hard especially since we both have had cats all of our lives, and never had to give one up. We felt failure, but it wasn’t. We just weren’t a good match. We eventually tried another kitty who also loved our old girl cat, but he died unexpectedly at the age of six. Again, no we aren’t going to do this again, but we did and got a lovely girl who took us almost a year to get her well. Animals bring such joy in our life. Your heart will heal.

    I’m sorry you had to go through this. I hope 2020 will be a better year.

    • Oh Lynda that sounds really hard. We just love them so much and it’s so hard to lose them. I know my heart will heal eventually but I do think we’re done. It just hurts too much.

  21. So sad! Our neighbors have had greyhounds. I love to see them! They come visiting every once in awhile. They will be on our back porch looking in the door. I hope 2020 brings you good health, much happiness, and no more depressing things!

    • Thank you Patty – I hope 2020 is better also! It’s been a tough year. Greyhounds are just amazing animals. I wish I had discovered them earlier.

  22. We don’t have any pets, because I cannot do the sadness that comes with it when giving them up or going to heaven….we have two great dogs next door looking for a home…there Boxers and sweethearts…the owner just dosen’t have time for them (working) I keep asking everyone who loves dogs (animals)….thanks

    • Oh I hope those Boxers find a home – I love Boxers! Smart to avoid the heartache altogether.

  23. Your article brought me to tears. It also helped bring some closure to my own sad situation where we had to give up our loved golden retriever. After our older retriever passed away, Zephyr could not handle the loss and being alone while we were at work. We could not get a replacement dog and it became clear that she needed constant companionship. She now lives with a elderly couple who also need constant doggy-love. It’s was hard, but I know it was the right thing to do for Zephyr. (btw… she is named after my favorite quilt retreat in Tahoe.)

    • Oh Lori, that sounds really hard – a dog you have had happily in your home that could not handle the new situation. My heart goes out to you for both the loss of your older dog and having to place Zephyr in another home. Glad she is settled and happy in her new home. I like that name!! Hugs.

  24. This is not a failure. This is a realization that Zoe’s best interests could not be met in your home. That was a heartbreaking decision but not a failure. A failure would have been not to recognize what was happening and put her through pain and unhappiness.

  26. Oh Jenny, so sorry for your heart ache. However, I will disagree that this was a failure. You put Zoe’s comfort ahead of your own !!!!! That takes guts , courage, love and understanding. None of those words signal failure in my book. You tried and your heart is broken. Be proud of yourselves for having the courage to try. Sure glad you have some no “thinkie” work to take your mind off of the pain. Zoe thanks you for the lessons and live you shined on her. Thank you for sharing your sad story.

    • It still hurts Robyn. It was so hard to see her in distress and not be able to help her. I suspect in just a month or two she will have matured to the point where she will be an amazing dog for someone. Thank you for your kind words.

  27. Hi Jenny, my name is Jackson. I have just finished reading your story regarding your beautiful greyhound. As a current greyhound parent, with a past whippet and another greyhound, my heart hurts for you and your hubby for the decision the two of you had to make. Greyhounds and whippets are breeds like no other, and if you have one it is very difficult not to always have one in your life. I understand what you were talking about when you mentioned that your greyhound missed its friends. Our greyhound, Cherry, has a little brother, which I’m sure helps when we are not home but when she comes upon a greyhound it’s like, “Oh, I know you”. I have never seen another breed of dog react that way. Once again, I am so sorry for the decision ya’ll had to make, but please believe me when I tell you that not all greyhounds need a dog companion in the home with them. I know that Cherry loves her little brother, but I believe she would be just fine as an only pet. You were on the money when you talked about the greyhounds past and how different it is for them when introducing them into a forever home. It does take time to allow them to get used to all of the open space, stairs for sure, hard-surfaced floors and sounds that they are not used to. Once they trust you completely, you have a wonderful dog/child. I hope that you and your husband will consider the idea of adopting another Greyhound in time.

    • Thank you for that Jackson. My mind is open but my heart still hurts. I would love to have another greyhound but need Hubby on board also. I will say this – if I get another dog, it WILL be a grey!

  28. Thanks for your response. Each Grey is totally different, but you should be allowed to spend as much time as necessary when you are ready visiting with as many Grey’s as possible. Our current girl was a perfect match for our family. Good luck!