Dress shopping….

 

NOTE: I have worn myself out; I am not looking for suggestions or stores or websites. Please don’t extend my misery with another place to look😊
ANOTHER NOTE: I may not post next week as I have a Tue/Wed travel gig to SoCal.

I just can’t seem to catch up. I have done no sewing this week, but I did accomplish something – I found a dress for my son’s Oct Tucson wedding…maybe. To be clear, I am not sure it is The One, but if not, it’s pretty close.

I want to explain why I’m making such a fuss over this dress. I care about what I wear and call myself a “thoughtful dresser”. That is not about fashion, but about intent. I read The Thoughtful Dresser by Linda Grant probably about 10 years ago and it affected my life. She talks about why clothes matter. And they DO!

I have since become thoughtful and purposeful in what I wear. As a result, over the years I have acquired a well stocked closet, curated to my lifestyle and what I like. I do not have a lot of clothes, but the ones I have I wear. I purge items that no longer fit or are no longer suitable for whatever reason. So I have all the clothes I need and this dress is special. I don’t necessarily see it as something I will wear again. It is a Special Day and it needs a Special Dress.

Currently, dresses come in two styles: I-want-to-show-every-single-thing, or, I-want-to-disappear. Not going for either.

It needs to meet all the basic requirements – not showy or with great volume. I tried on a sequined dress and oh my, it was like flashing camera lights! No sequins. It is more of a garden wedding, so no formal stuff. I have tried on at least 20 dresses and they were all horrible. Horrible! I am petite, and even a midi can swallow me. Some of these dresses have so much volume!

I realized my 70 yr old figure no longer does well in fitted waist dresses. No. Bare shoulders or one bare shoulder made me look like an athlete swimmer. And those perfectly lovely gowns that have a lace top and a long skirt of a plain fabric….oh my, I was Queen Elizabeth! I found a shirt dress I liked and in the size that the waist fit, there was like 4″ of extra volume in the top. Oy. And fit and flare makes me look like a dumpling.

The dressing room lights did me no favors. And they all were going to need some sort of engineering marvel of a bra. Some would require shape wear; eww. I never wear shape wear and I really don’t want to do that for the wedding, especially in Tucson. So it’s just my body + a dress (or pants suit). How hard can this be? I am not kidding, I am sure I have looked at over 1,000 dresses online.

Here is why this dress is important to me, beyond the obvious. I have a solid wardrobe and am not in great need of any normal clothes. I want this dress to reflect who I am, within the boundaries of a “Mother of the Groom” dress. I want to feel comfortable. I want it to fit in a way that makes me feel good about my body. I want it to make me feel special and for my personality to show. It’s all about saying who I am and feeling good. I want to enjoy and celebrate and dance and eat and move and sit and maybe hold a Grandchild or two and have my dress do its job.

As a prelude to the current pick, I’ll summarize my experience with Poshmark. I think they shafted me and it was a veeery expensive lesson. You can’t return their clothes, although that is not clear from their site. The only circumstances in which you may return is if the item is not as it was represented. The “S/M” dress I bought had a 25.5″ waist. That is like a 2/4! That, I am not. They said that “S/M” with a 25.5″ waist was “as represented”. In what world is a 25.5″ waist a Medium???? So now I am having to resell on RealReal. We’ll see how that goes.

So here is my new pick:

I love the fabric! As a pre-teen, I loved daisies and drew daisies to dot my i’s for Jr High homework (groan!). For me, the fabric is a nod to that whimsy.

There’s a 3-d effect to the flowers. There is a teeny bling, but very subtle. I like how the lining stops short and allows the sheer hem to present.

Fabric close-up.

The crinoline skirt adds a bit of volume at the bottom, just enough to make my waist look smaller without being ball gown-ish.

And miracle of miracles, it FITS! It fits like a glove! I can move and do squats if I wanted to; bend over to pick something up, breathe and eat – everything stays perfectly in place without boning. Square necklines on my body typically yield unacceptable cleavage, but not this dress. It fits closely to my body, perfect so that it kind of holds things in without restricting. I would not want to gain any weight though!

So a couple of things that are not good – it may be a little too dressy for a more garden party atmosphere. And it’s polyester, a nice polyester, a comfy polyester, but we’re talking Tucson and it might be hot. So I’m not sure, but it’s a contender. What an adventure, trying to find a “wedding guest” dress! That’s all I’ve got this week. I hope to get back to quilting soon!

I’ll be linking up:
Nina-Marie’s Off the Wall Friday