Convergence: Parenting and Making Art

I am at that delightful interlude of life where my boys have left the house and have set their own purposeful trajectory. DH has retired and golfs and volunteers enough to give me the mental space to create my art.

I have had casual, aisle-of-the-grocery-store type of conversations with three Moms and a Dad over the last week. They all had a similar theme: we actually like our grown children as people and somehow, we actually helped produce those likeable people!

We have led very different lives: financially, geographically, spiritually and politically. Each of us had radically different approaches to parenting. Yet we all are at this same point of acceptance of our children for who they are and a deep peace that we have done our best.

So I found it intriguing that all the conversations around parenting had a similar conclusion: perseverance and attentiveness were key to successful parenting.

The earlier lives of some of these kids were pretty ugly at times-there were some special schools to help those who fell off a healthy path, there were long phases of irresponsible and reckless behavior, there were periods when they went overboard with a particular philosophy or avocation.

It is such a kick to truly enjoy and like your adult children! I know it could have turned out differently and I feel incredibly blessed to be at this point. Parenting is a muddle at best, with many wrong decisions on our part and the covering grace seems to be perseverance and attentiveness.

Which brings me to the making of art-I think the making of art takes a similar path. I muddle along trying to express myself in a unique way. I’m not there yet and I know I have not “found my voice”. I have strayed off the path and done lots of not-so-great work as well as some work I love.

But I do have hope that I will find my voice so I continue to muddle along, confident that the path will eventually lead there if I persevere and show up in the studio.

And I know that perseverance and attentiveness will do more for me than innate talent. In fact, I question whether innate talent is real anyway. The more I am around talented artists of every stripe, the more I see how hard they work at what they do. They live daily life with a mindful and attentive eye. That picture of an artist with an epiphany is really a very long movie with a delightful conclusion and a lot of hard work along the way.

So I will continue to muddle along and work at what I love. I hope that my art will eventually yield a point of brief satisfaction that I have begun to find my voice. And then I will be dissatisfied-again!